'He is not ready for parenthood': Pregnant woman's in-laws plan wedding on her due date, lash out when she won't let husband attend

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 17, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Sometimes people are so short-sighted that they don't see how their plans affect everything else around them. They fail to see two feet in front of them and think the world will bend to their needs and wants. This is classically known as being selfish. We're taught in grade school not to be selfish. We learn to share our toys with others and hold the door open for them. We make paper cutouts of people holding hands and learn to treat others how we'd like to be treated. It's basically Humanity 101. 

But this lesson doesn't always stick for everyone. Some of us will spend our whole lives trying to learn it and still come up short. But on the way, we're usually presented with a few teachers to help us learn our lesson. Teachers can take many shapes and forms. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10481200896
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • They can be literal teachers who make an impact on us, they can be friends who lead by example, or they can be family members who give you opportunities to be thoughtful. The in-laws in this story were presented with a chance to be kind and considerate, but they failed to take it. And when they were faced with the backlash, they weren't sure what to do. Read on for the story and see what you think.

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    AITA for not letting my husband attend his sister's wedding?

    My husband (31M) and myself (28F) are expecting our first child this May, 2025. We found out very early in September, 2024. We did not keep this a secret from anyone and in fact, shared the news in person with his family and my family on the day we found out.
    via u/tayyyspeaks
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    During this period, his sister (29F) was getting to know someone and getting engaged in October 2024. It's sort of an arranged marriage as she was set up and decided to get engaged only after 3 months of speaking to the guy. Her parents (my in-laws) were happy that she liked him and wanted to quickly move forward. She's been wanting to get married for the past 5 years.
    via u/tayyyspeaks
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    After the engagement party in October, there was a brief discussion of when the wedding would be. His sister had mentioned that she wanted to be married by no later than April 2025. After our initial OB visit in September, my husband had mentioned to his parents that I
    via u/tayyyspeaks
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    would not be able to travel after 34 weeks as per the doctor. His mother decided to ignore this information and not address it. His sister and mother decided to plan on having the wedding in April 2025 even though they had not booked anything. His sister's fiancé lives in Texas, a 3.5 hrs
    via u/tayyyspeaks
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    flight away. I briefly mentioned that I would not be able to attend in April as it would be too close to my due date but wished them all the best in their planning.
    via u/tayyyspeaks
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    February 2025 rolls around and they decided to have the wedding this upcoming April 19th of 2025 in Texas. I tell my husband that because I will be almost 37 weeks pregnant, that we would definitely not be able to go. A month prior, during a huge fight we had, his mom had told him it's okay if I don't go but that he would have to attend. At the time, I was not opposed to it, as I thought it would be fine.
    via u/tayyyspeaks
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    Two weeks ago, we met with my OB, and I decide to ask her for advice while he was also in the room. I ask her for confirmation that it's not a problem if he were to travel during my 37th week. She looks at both of us and says "Absolutely not" we both stare at her shocked and she continues
    via u/tayyyspeaks
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    and says "this would be like rolling a dice, I would not recommend it. If something were to happen, I would not be able to slow anything down." He unenthusiastically agrees and says it's messed up that they picked a date knowing we most likely would not be able to attend.
    via u/tayyyspeaks
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    It's now almost April, and he just told his mother that we will both for sure not be able to attend. My husband and in-laws have a huge fight and he explains the situation so his dad threatens that he wouldn't attend either if he's not at the wedding. I don't budge after he tells me this and calmly state that he simply cannot attend two weeks before my due date as we're both having this baby together.
    via u/tayyyspeaks
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    So, AITA for not letting him attend his sister's wedding?
    via u/tayyyspeaks
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    Cheezburger Image 10481201152
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Commenters affirmed that she wasn't in the wrong about asking her husband to stay by her side.

    Emily-dreamerLM • 2d ago NTA. Your in-laws really looked at a whole pregnancy timeline and said, "Nah, let's gamble." Like, did they think the baby would just reschedule to be more convenient for them? Your husband is about to become
    via u/Emily-dreamerLM
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    a dad-his priority should be with you, not across the country at a wedding when you could literally go into labor any second. His family acting like this is some wild betrayal is crazy. He's missing one day; you'd be the one missing your PARTNER while possibly giving birth. Huge difference.
    via u/Emily-dreamerLM
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    Naive... • 2d ago • Edited 2d ago 37 weeks is full term - baby is not a preemie at this point and they do NOT stop labor, excepting extraordinary situations. That is literally the "baby can come at any time" window.
    via u/Naive_Pea4475
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    In fact, they don't stop labor at 35 weeks in general either. The difference is that at 37 weeks they WILL assist the labor, if needed (break water, pitocin) and at 35 weeks they will not do any of this until you hit 5 centimeters.
    via u/Naive_Pea4475
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    Signed - mom of five. First at 37 weeks, 2nd - 38, 3rd - 37, 4th - 36, and my last little trouble maker who kept trying to come from 35 weeks on. I would be in active labor for several hours it would eventually peter out (no, not Braxton Hicks - I was on - monitors and dilating). I
    via u/Naive_Pea4475
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    stayed at 4. 5-5 cent. for 2 weeks (I would dilate to five in labor but by the time the doctor was making rounds it would stop and I would go back to 4.5 (verified by multiple nurses). Finally came at 37 weeks. You're seeing a trend? NO, hubby should NOT travel unless you both are willing to risk him missing the birth.
    via u/Naive_Pea4475
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    . imamage_fightme 2d ago NTA. If your husband is not 100% in agreeance that he cannot be travelling for a wedding 2 weeks before your due date, he is not ready for parenthood. Parenthood is sacrifice. It doesn't mean sacrificing everything for your
    via u/imamage_fightme
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    child, but it sure does mean it for big moments like when they're gonna be born! He cannot be hours away at a wedding (likely drinking alc ol as most people do) and expect to still make it if you go into labour. This is his family's fault, they knew your likely due period before they picked a date. If they don't like it, that is their problem, not yours.
    via u/imamage_fightme
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    viola2992 · 2d ago NTA. Get this straight: You are not the one not allowing him to attend the wedding. It's on the doctor's orders.
    via u/viola2992
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    Your husband can make the decision as an adult what is his priority in life. It is up to him. His father can do whatever he wants. He is free to choose. It is not within your husband's interest to consider others' actions.
    via u/viola2992
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    • EmceeSuzy 2d ago This is how you find out whether or not your married a grown man. He will only travel to this wedding if he is a little boy who cannot be a father to your baby. If he is too immature to be a father, please divorce him at once and go from there.
    via u/EmceeSuzy
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    Cobaltwhirll • 2d ago Girl, absolutely NTA. His family is being completely unreasonable and selfish. They knew the risks from the start and chose to ignore them. Your OB's advice is clear: traveling that close to your due date is dangerous.
    via u/Cobaltwhirll
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    Your husband's priority should be the health and safety of you and your baby, not his sister's wedding. And his dad threatening not to go? That's just childish manipulation. They're trying to guilt-trip you both, and it's not okay. You're not 'letting'
    via u/Cobaltwhirll
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    or 'not letting' him do anything. You're making a responsible decision as a family. He needs to stand his ground and support you, not cave to their pressure. They had plenty of time to plan around your pregnancy, and they chose not to. That's on them.
    via u/Cobaltwhirll
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    Horror-Ad8049 • 2d ago NTA, you clearly told them about your due date and concerns. They cannot force your husband into attending the wedding either. It's foolish to ignore concerns and then expect to forcefully get him to attend the wedding. And clearly you need him by your side at that stage of your pregnancy, your in-laws are irresponsible for not taking this into consideration.
    via u/Horror-Ad8049

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